I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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