Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
