dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
