oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
