Whod you bang
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize