My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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