Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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