How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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