STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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