So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
