Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize