you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Swine flu is the new snow day.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
