all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
