I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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