windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
