Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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