I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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