her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
