I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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