she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
