Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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