Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
