She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize