so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
