i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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