Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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