that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
