We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i need an iv and a liver transplant
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
this is an emotional support booty call
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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