What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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