ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
