I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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