i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
