So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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