just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
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only if we run a train.
done.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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