all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
