So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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