haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
