there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
