WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
