Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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