I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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