I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
