sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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