My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
