Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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