The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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