Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
