Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
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Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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