May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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