This girl is more easily done than said...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
