this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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