Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
