I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize