I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
