found the other keg... it's in the tree
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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