how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
