You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
