Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize