I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
