o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
