how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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