haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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