They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
