Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize