I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
